
Basset hounds are full of character. They are very intelligent and very stubborn. No matter what...they have a personality all their own and often times will make us laugh, cry or just sit back and smile. Here are some of our most favorite Basset stories!
Want to add you favorite Basset Story? Let us know at webmaster@buckbasset.com!
| Urka Gurka Alarm Clock | ||
| Be Careful Where Your Nose May Lead You | ||
| The Litter Box Won... | ||
| Steak? What Steak? | ||
| Hollis Brown and Mustang Sally | ||
How to Give a Stubborn Basset a
Bath
1. Leave door to bedroom open and hang out in room until victim wanders in.
2. Shut door so victim cannot escape, and remove collar.
3. Begin herding basset towards adjoining bathroom, and when basset lays down in
refusal, begin pushing basset butt in general direction of room.
4. When this fails...and it WILL...stand basset up by lifting with one hand
under basset's chest and the other hand under its belly.
5. As a last resort, and when basset lays down again, roll basset over.
6. If basset STILL refuses to walk to the bathroom of its own free will, roll
basset over again.
7. Keep this up until said basset either gives up and walks into bathroom, or
until you have COMPLETELY rolled the basset into the bathroom.
8. At this point, repeat step #4 as you gently set basset into the tub.
9. Block all exit routes out of the tub to prevent escape.
10. Ignore all threatening looks by basset as it plots to kill you.
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Be Careful Where Your Nose May Lead You!
Here is one Annie wrote when she was 1 year old:
It was a typical boring morning as my parents had gone to work and left me home
alone. One different aspect was that I was allowed to be in the kitchen and the
living room. Naturally, I took to investigating my domain (Bassets are good
investigators).
AHA! My clever nose picked up a smell that I did not smell before. What was it?
Well, I sniffed my way into the living room, into my dad's chair, swiviled the
chair and Presto, I was on the half-wall that separated the kitchen and living
room! I found not one but TWO huge chocolate Easter eggs! Naturally I did what
any sensible dog would do, I sampled them. I have a girlish figure and did not
want to eat them all at once, so I placed the eggs in several places that I
would be able to access at a later time.
A few hours past, and my daddy came home from work. When he discovered what I
had eaten, he panicked (why do humans do that all the time?) and called my
doctor. The doctor told my daddy to give me some medicine to make me throwup.
Well, I did and I was not very happy about it I can tell you. My momma came home
and they decided I had not thrown up very much and so they started to look
around and found my stash. They realized I had only had a bite or two of the
eggs, albeit small bites. After my parents calmed down they figured I would live
another day.
I forgave my parents and let them sleep with me in my bed that night.
Parents, ya gotta love 'em! -Annie
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It was
a mouse, I swear!
Annie:
HellOooooo everyone! It sure is good to be back home! My humans decided to go to
this state called Florida. Something to do with sun, sand and seashells. I
really did not understand what or why but hey, if they want to drive 12 hours
and take me along who am I to complain?
The story I am about to tell happened on the second to last day we were there.
All the humans decided to go out for supper and leave me behind (as usual). Well
anyway I took a little nap and then woke up to discover that they were not back
yet. I was getting restless and decided to sniff the cottage over again just in
case I missed something from before. Well I sniffed my way into the dining room
and Wahlah! What to my wondering and wandering nose to smell but the smell of
left-over lunch! They had left me some food after all! I promptly climbed up in
a chair and tasted everything from greenbean casserole(which really wasn't very
good) to the chocolate cake (which really was). After I had eaten all I possibly
could, I went to finish my nap.
Not too much longer some of my humans came back. They walked into the dining
room and saw evidence of the food having been sampled. I just looked at them
with the most innocent expression I could. My Aunt Betty looked at me and then
the table and said the most beautiful thing I have ever heard. She said and I
quote, "A mouse must have gotten into the food and eaten it." I will love that
woman forever!!
Thanks for listening to my story and I am sure I will be back! Annie
P.S. A mouse really did do it! That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
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Last year, spring came a little early. One night, the dogs went outside and I went to let them in. Sullivan, for some strange reason, would NOT come in. I finally went out into the yard to see what the problem was. A Mama bird had kicked her kids out of the nest and they were in the yard trying to fly, but not being successful at this point. Sullivan was laying under his tree, guarding his baby birdies! He wasn't touching them - he was keeping everybody else away from them! For four days, whenever he got the chance, he guarded his birdies. Every once in a while, he would nudge them as if to help them fly, but he never hurt one of them. The strangest thing of all - the mama bird would dive bomb everybody else - not Sullivan. It's as if she knew that he was protecting her children.
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"Them
Little Legs Can Run"
Two years ago, my husband and I went out of town for 2 days, for an adoption
event in Mobile. Our best friends agreed to watch out for the dogs, and stop by
to feed them. I told Sam, our friend, repeatedly, DO NOT open the gate to the
pen. Go thru the house and use the back door to get in the dog pen, or you'll
regret it!
Dozer is an opportunist, and will try to take advantage of anybody he can. Sam,
being a typical man, decided it was too much trouble to go thru the house, and
would be easier to just open the gate and get the food off the porch.
Sam got the gate open wide enough to fit one leg through - Dozer slipped right
out between his legs, and was off! Sam chased him(forgetting to shut the gate
again, with Libby standing right there in the pen) for almost half a mile,
before Dozer stopped to pee on a tree, and Sam snatched him up. Having no leash
handy, he flung Dozer, upside down, over his shoulder, and carried him back up a
very steep hill, to get him back home.
Very winded, Sam realized about halfway back up the hill that he left the gate
open, and starts to jog, with a 45 pound Basset flopping on his shoulder, to get
there before Libby figures out she could run too.
Thankfully, Libby had simply laid down and gone to sleep next to the open gate.
After dumping Dozer in the pen, and taking care of them, Sam went home and
called me. Breathing hard, after spending over an hour and a half doing a chore
that should have taken about 10 minutes, he told me, "Them short little legs can
sure run, can't they?"
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When I had Barney and Doofus, I used to leave them in the house while I went to work. Well, one day, I came home early - sick, headachy, with a fever. The tree guy had been there to take down one of my trees in the backyard, but I didn't notice that he had left the gate open. I went upstairs and let both dogs outside. About 20 minutes later, Barney came to the back door raising all kinds of sand. I looked out. Doofus had found the open gate and was gone. I panicked. I grabbed Barney, we got in the car and off we went. We searched high and low - all through my 360-house subdivision and the new subdivision behind me. No Doofus. Finally, I tearfully decided to go back home, leave Barney in the back yard to watch for his brother. I would head out on foot. We were close to the house when I happened to look to my right. Here comes Doofus - he had made it all the way to two houses from me!! The boy was not what we call an adventurous wanderer - he was hot and tired!!
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A few years ago when Dudley was younger and a good deal less
husky, he would often chill out and curl up on me while sleeping. One fine
October afternoon, a perfect afternoon, I was completely relaxed, sprawled on
the couch watching football, eating chips and looking like the fine middle aged
specimen that I am bedecked in no more than a t shirt and my BVD's. The sun was
shining, the dog was snoring, the Eagles were winning and all was right with the
world.
Except for the fly. A single, solitary, kamikaze housefly who stubbornly refused
to leave me or Dudley alone. It buzzed. It thrummed. It hovered and it swooped.
It drove both of us nuts. Dudley took a few halfhearted snaps at it but fell
back asleep sprawled across my stomach. Until it alighted right in front of his
nose. Until it alighted, on, shall we say, my... self.
In one fluid movement, seen from my vantage point of " flat on my back", Dudley
lurched in slow motion towards the fly. Gaws agape. Eyes narrowed and focussed.
He lunged for the fly. I lunged for my...self. I lost. I was off the couch,
screaming for what was surely my lost manhood. Dudley was sent flying, and I was
checking to see that everything was still in place. Thankfully it was. The fly
escaped and Dudley has neve layed across me again.
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Have you ever had to make excuses for being late for work?
Don't you just
hate having to run to catch an early morning flight? Do you miss all those
middle-of-the-night asteroid showers -- or do you just like to be up at the
crack of dawn to watch the sunrise?
Well, sleep late no more! Because NOW, for a limited time, you can get the
bedside clock that is GUARANTEED to have you vertical and running at top
speed the INSTANT it sounds its alarm! You won't even feel like using a
10-minute snooze feature -- which is why we haven't built one into this
clock! Why not, you ask? The name says it all.
The revolutionary new Urka Gurka Clock will ensure that you never again miss
an important appointment. What's more, you'll be wide awake from the second
your feet hit the floor, ready to take on your day! Here's how it works.
The Urka Gurka Clock simulates those gut-wrenching pre-vomit sounds coming
from deep within your Bassets stomach. The alarm sounds softly at
first, easing you out of your early-morning REM sleep. Then the sounds
become louder and more pronounced, until you are brought completely to your
senses by an unmistakable BLAP sound effect that can only mean one
thing --touchdown!
Tests have shown that no one can turn over and go back to sleep while
thinking of stomach acids working their way into the carpet. You're wide
awake in an instant -- guaranteed!
And if you order in the next five minutes, we'll include a FREE 20 oz.
container of Nature's Miracle, for those times when your Basset-- not the Urka
Gurka Clock -- is the one who wakes you up. So come on! Stop missing all
those beautiful sunrises! Don't risk being mistaken for a terrorist by
running through airports to catch your flight! Call now! Operators are
standing by.
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Fred here. This was not a funny story. My mother has a warped
sense of humor.
One day Calvin was in his litter box. He always acted like he was on a throne
. I stood outside patiently (sort of) and waited for him to finish. Kitty
McNuggets, you know.
A few noises, a little stretch by the cat, and out he came. He had to crawl out
of the canopy. My mom called it a BoodaBox. I called it a pain in the neck. It
was hard to get my long ears up and under that canopy. But, hey, what one does
for Kitty McNuggetss....
So the cat wipes his paws and leaves, and then in I go. YUM! Munch time!
Wait! I hear my mom calling me. She's mad again. I gotta get out of this thing.
So I just have to pull my head out. Oh NO! It's stuck!! Maybe if I shake it
realy hard from side to side...NO! This thing is on my head and won't come off.
Litter is getting in my mouth! ACK! I'll bang it against the wall! NO that
hurts. Headache. Loud noises! Who turned out the lights? Talk about an
Elizabethan collar! At least you can see! I'm getting sand in my eyes! ARGH!!
Wait, here come Mom and Dad. WHY does someone have their foot on my butt? I can
feel someone pulling on the BoodaBox off my head at the same time! And my Dad is
cursing.
A few tugs, a loud noise, and BOOM. I'm free, but I think there is a lot of cat
litter and clumps all over the floor. OOPS. But hey, some McNuggets fell out
too. I'll have to eat them before my mom or dad tries to grab them....
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When Dudley was maybe 4 or 5 months old, he went missing.
He'd usually stay with me when working outside, but on this day his nose got the
best of him, and off he went. I looked in his usual spots. Under the deck,
beneath a shrub, in the garage. No Dudley to be found. The I began walking the
property line. Lots of weeds and places for him to hunt rabbits, ,and still no
Dudley. I went a little further a field, fairly worked up at this point,
envisioning him being taken by a hawk or fox or some manner of Dudley eating
critter. No Dudley.
I yelled. I called. No dog, nowhere, no how. At this point I truly was losing
it. A full hour had passed and my beloved little pup was gone, it was my fault
and surely there was a special place in hell for me and my stupidity. I was near
tears.
I was walking the perimeter again, near the Quarry, ,completely disheartened.
Then, a soft " woof!" wafted across the afternoon breeze. Not sure if I was
hearing things, I paused and waited. Nothing else happened. I walked again, a
few feet, and " WOOF!" I looked left, right, back and forth. No Dudley. Then, I
looked in the one direction I had not yet checked. UP
There, sitting about 20 feet above me and slightly to the left, was fat boy,
sitting on the edge of a barn roof, tail happily wagging. SOMEHOW he had gotten
himself up there and was waiting to be rescued. A ladder ran up along the side
to the roofline so I climbed up there ( I'm deathly afraid of heights ) ,
grabbed him and slung him like a rucksack over my shoulder and climbed back
down. Later I snooped around and found a mound of dirt piled against the back
roofline, which was only ten feet off the ground. He had climbed onto the roof
from the back and played pigeon the whole time I was frantic.
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Let me start by saying that we have a cat, Zipper, who I swear
is 1/2 squirrel!! She is a long hair gray/black that has a long bushy tail just
like a squirrel. Jodie brought her home as a kitten from a farm that she was
working on.
Gracie loved to "play" with the cat. The cat was never amused and didn't like to
play. There would always be "the chase, the catch and the scratch!!!" Gracie
would get her nose fixed and then trot off until the next adventure.
She was out in the back yard one sunny afternoon. Came up to the back door to
wanted in. I opened the door and didn't even look at her. As she rounded the
corner, I noticed a long bushy gray tail in her mouth. "OH MY GOSH, SHE KILLED
THE CAT" is screaming through my brain. I call her, she glances back at me like
"what, I'm taking my prize to my special place". A chase ensures, up the steps,
around the rooms, down the steps until I finally corner her in the living room.
After a lot of hollering and yelling and her looking at me like "What is the
matter with you?????" she drops her prize.
IT IS THE BACK HALF OF A SQUIRREL!!!! NOT THE CAT!!!
After being sufficiently repulsed that she only has the back half, I find the
cat sitting on the mantle watching the whole thing!!! I swear that cat
was laughing at both of us!!
"Gracie, the great squirrel hunter" will always be my special, sweet, sweet,
hound dog.
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Annabelle was about three years old, and had been blind for
about a year. She was our first basset, and owning her had been an education in
bassetude; the hardest thing for us to get used to was the counter-cruising. But
at this point in our lives with her, we had gotten really pretty good about
making sure everything on the counters was pushed to the back.
One night, a Saturday, we had run errands all day, and had as our last errand,
stopped at the local butcher's and gotten 2-inch thick, hand-cut, new york strip
steaks - they weighed almost a pound each! We marinated them in red wine and
black pepper, on a plate on the counter. While Noel was heating the grill -it
was almost 9 pm at this point, on this summer evening - I got the roasted
potatoes and corn on the cob ready, then went into the other room for a moment.
I heard Noel come in from the grill, then he said "Hey, where's the steaks?"
From the other room I said "On the counter, on the plate". He said "no, they
aren't".
I'm thinking to myself "Geesh, why can't men see what's right in front of their
face?" So I say "yes. Right there, on the counter!!!" He says "There are NO
steaks here, woman." So I storm in there, determined to show him the steaks and
then lecture him on being a dumbie.
Instead, I see an empty plate, with a little marinade still on it. But the plate
hasn't moved from its spot (back of the counter), there are no drips anywhere on
the counter.. and no steaks. I said "Did you take them out already?" He looks at
me like I have two heads. We are both just standing there, completely puzzled,
when... Annabelle wanders around the corner from the living room, sits down next
to us, licks her lips ostentatiously, and BURPS... this huge red-wine-and-pepper
burp. Somehow, she had gotten both steaks off the counter, off the plate,
without knocking the plate off, or making any noise that I heard from just in
the other room.
We ate potatoes and corn for dinner... and the little witch had the NERVE to beg
at the table for THAT!
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Hollis Brown and Mustang Sally
As ya'll know Hollis Brown isn't a full basset but what he
lacks in basset looks he makes up for in Basset stealth. Memorial weekend I get
off work early and grab a burger on my way home. It is such a nice day I drive
home with the windows open and eat my lunch. I get home turn everyone out for a
good run before the pet sitter gets there.
I haven't seen the gang in a bit so I call them to the house and everyone comes
but Hollis Brown. So I call and call and call. With all his faults he has always
come when called. Ok now I am freaking cause the night before he had tried to
climb the fence. So I walk the propriety calling Hollis the whole time getting
more panicky with each call. I am up at the front checking the gate trying to
figure out what I am going to tell Wen and turn to go back down the drive. And
here comes Mr CuteGrinSavesMyButtHollisBRown up the drive to me. I give him a
stern talking too and go back to the house (which was ignored) Shortly after I
need my cell phone and go to the car to get it. Well I found where
HollisBrownCanJumpHigh had been. He had jumped through the open window to get to
the empty take out bag. Which was shredded on the floor!!
Poor Mustang Sally didn't know what to think about being violated by doggy claws
down her door but she now insists that the windows remain closed at the house.
I know he was watching me and laughing the whole time.
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This page last updated
03/18/2007 01:43 PM
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